Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
