Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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