The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
