Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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