So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
