areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
