What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
