You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
