Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I got inside last night via doggy door
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
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