i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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