What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Sacagawea was the original milf.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
