I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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