I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
