i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
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