I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Randomize
