Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
