I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Randomize
