You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
No subtext here. People are naked.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
