did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
She told me I should be a condom model.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
