I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
