I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
