are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
