i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Randomize
