I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Randomize
