Just fell off a train. Bad.
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
