Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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