life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
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