low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Randomize
