WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize
