Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
