You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
