direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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