Just cropdusted the office
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
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