the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
