he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
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