Please, let me fuck your mom
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
