Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize
