Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
