dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
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