Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
