You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
God, I missed his penis.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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