you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
