Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Randomize
