she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Randomize
