I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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