She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Randomize
