i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
