I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
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