Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
