I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Randomize
