Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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