The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Randomize
