I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
honey bunches of taint.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
