He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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