So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Randomize
